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nausicaa424
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Gender: Female
Interests: You know what'd really make me happy? Having a slingshot and stockpile of tear-gas grenades to lob at sorority girls while they're going to parties. Or to throw into open truck cabs of obnoxious frat guys advertising their parties with a giant keg.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Engineering
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  mingzen424
Member Since:
6/12/2003
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| Things are starting to look up at least a touch -- I just applied to
the local craft store . . . again. This time there's a new
manager, I'm graduating and they need people who can work full-time or
at least full shifts, and I have done just about every craft involving
knitting needles, crochet needles, wire, glue, and sharp pointy
implements you can think of with the exception of quilting because I
just don't have the fabric scraps nor the inclination to make myself a
fucking blanket. All this is in my favor. What's not in my
favor is the fact that I'm probably going to have one of the higher IQs
in the store, so far be it for me to crow about getting a job when I
probably won't even get a call back. I had this happen at another
craft store a few months ago where I put down the same things, but
never got a call back. Though I think I might have a chance this
time -- I was so manic after a cup of coffee that I appeared personable.
In the meantime, I just bought a suit pattern from Vogue sewing -- a
Miyaki design. Taking into account that I don't have a sewing
machine, I wonder how long this is going to take me to sew.
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| Still waiting for data.
Anyone got glucose/ECG readings from diabetic patients under clamp I conditions?
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| I'm really fed up with my immune system: I just took about a dose
and a half of NyQuil and I still can't fall asleep. It's been 2
hours since I took it, but I'm still sneezing, coughing, and my right
eye is tearing so badly that it literally hurts and has swollen shut
because of all the tears that it generates. This shit conked me
out earlier, but now I can barely tell the difference between taking it
and not taking it. This is my third fucking dose. What the
hell is wrong with my body?
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| Yep, nothing quite like being home, sick, and forced to listen to the
bass beat of your neighbors as they play old Blink 182 for 3 days
straight well into the wee hours of the morning, all while knowing that
your other neighbors are breaking something (bottles, windows, cars) in
the parking lot.
Must leave, must find job, must leave, must find job, must leave, must
find job, must leave, must find job, must leave, must find job, must
leave, must find job, must leave, must find job, must leave, must find
job, must leave, must find job, must leave, must find job, must leave,
must find job, must leave, must find job, must leave, must find job,
must leave, must find job, must leave, must find job, must leave, must
find job, must leave, must find job, must leave, must find job, must
leave, must find job, must leave, must find job, must leave, must find
job, must leave, must find job. . .
I feel like there's a balloon in my head right now squeezing my brain
out of my ears. I'd probably be the perfect candidate to become a
cashier or clerk or barista around here right now.
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| I'm fucking depressed. And I'm talking about the sort of
all-encompassing despair when you feel so impotent, you reason your way
out of doing even what you need to do. I haven't been working on
my thesis, I have to grade a series of midterms by this afternoon, and
I'm running low on money because I can't find a part-time job as a
baker, store clerk, barista, anything in this town because they're
always hiring "bright, young things" who spend most of their time
gossiping with each other instead of handing you your change. I'm
tired of going to each and every store that I've ever applied to and
seeing them hire people who can barely count out change, or do a sloppy
job with an order of espresso, and always with the same fucking faces
of bored superiority or bland cheer.
I'm so very tired. I don't teach any longer because my low
teaching evals and pressure by the department to "improve" has led me
to resign from being a TA in the first place, when the primary reason
why I got the low evals was because I assigned more challenging work
than the students were expecting from a "non-major" lab requirement,
and I expecting them to actually try to piece together a coherent lab
report.
This town is killing me, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually;
slowly sucking the life out with this pervasive apathy that there's
nothing more to expect from life than a suburban house, a car, an
unchallenging job, and a weekend of boozing. and I am sick, sick,
sick of it. I'm tired of seeing the people I KNOW aren't the best
nor the brightest get the internships I want, I'm tired of seeing utter
leeches and incompetants get the callbacks I never got, I'm tired of
never having the right connections, or of being stonewalled with
whatever connection I have. I'm almost 27, and I have nothing to
show for it. No job, no degree, nothing. I need to almost
escape to just finish my thesis or else I'd sleep to death, and nothing
has come up to offer me that route, and I can't motivate myself to try
after being rejected so many times over.
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